HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW YOUR FAMILY?(PART1)

Welcome to another series of articles which are centered around the importance of knowing those who are in your family.  Those of us born into a family, had no choice of who our parents were.  There may be some of you in a family, and you were chosen by them to be part of that family.  There may be some who were carefully placed in a family to have a better quality of life.  For whatever the situation might be, you are part of that family.  When you come into a family, there is no way that you can know in advance of how your life will be, until the days, weeks, months and years begin to unfold.  

Children Have Pure Thoughts About Others, until:   Through a child eyes, and mind, everyone appears to be good, it’s only when each person around them begin to display negative or positive attitudes, do they begin to develop certain thought patterns about them. If they are harsh towards the child, they know to stay clear of them. If they are displaying the wrong type of affection, making them feel uneasy or afraid they would be distant from them.  If at any time, they ask a child to be secretive about a conversation or their behavior with them, they begin to wonder why is this person targeting them: My dear, this person is someone the child should be certain to tell their mother about.  

Matthew 6:22-23 says, “The light of the body is the eye: if therefore thine eye be single, thy whole body shall be full of light.  But if thine eye be evil, thy whole body shall be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!”

Darkness Seeks a Victim:  Once this has occurred with any of your children, you will realize that something is not right with how this individual is seeing them.  As a child, they may not be able to explain it, but many thoughts are going through their little head, whether they should tell their mother or father.  They may ask, why does this person keep bothering them; they don’t seem to be interested in any of the other children, only me. Each time this person is around this child, they will try to gain their confidence with baring gifts or being overly nice to them. Many children never say anything they just allow these types of individuals to lead them, into something that will change their life forever, and definitely not in a good way.  

Matthew 18:10 says, “Take heed that ye despise not one of these little ones; for I say unto you, That in heaven their angels do always behold the face of my Father which is in heaven.”   

It’s Your Duty to Caution the Children:

That is why my dear Sisters, you have a vital role as the woman in the home, to have those special talks with the children under your care. As soon as that child is old enough to communicate with you in their own little way, begin to prepare them by going over certain areas of the body, that others shouldn’t touch, never allow anyone to kiss them on the mouth, never take their clothes off for anyone, what to do if someone expose their private parts to them, never go in a room alone with someone. My friend you can think of many ways to make your children be aware of things, that should not go on between them and older children or adults.  You must educate them so they know what to do if anyone kiss them in a wrong way (that is something for you to explain the differences in a childlike manner), or touches them in their private parts, or want them to touch their private parts.  It’s your duty to be sure that they always remain safe and secure under your care.  If you have this conversation with your children, it will help them to know exactly what to do if someone is targeting them.  You should also, explain to them of what they should do if any of these situations should occur.  

Matthew 18:6 says, “But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea.”

What Should They Let You Know:  Let them know they can always come and tell you anything about anyone.  They should never think you will say it’s all their fault.  Assure them never to be afraid of any threat the person may make to them.  Tell them not to be afraid to let you know if the person says, “If you tell anyone, I will hurt your mom or dad”, they should still tell you who that person is.  Let them know it doesn’t matter who this person is, it could be someone in the home: a brother, sister, dad or step dad, step mother, step sisters, step brothers. Hired help: house maid, driver, gate keeper, yard staff. Outside: a friend of mom or dad that come to visit on holiday, a neighbor or their child. Extended family member: auntie, uncle, grandparents. Others: bus driver, teacher, security person at school. Absolutely no one is exempt from being a predator! 

Know this my sister, if someone is walking in darkness, and have not given their life to Jesus Christ, any evil spirit can influence their thinking.  Some people have weak minds and are easily targeted by these evil forces.  Just as the Lord watches over His children,  satan oversees the actions of his cohorts and instructs them through the power of suggestion of things he want them to do, to accomplish his purpose in the lives of people in the earth. He knows all those who have certain misguided sexual fantasies, and just how to lure them into terrible acts that will cause them to lose more of their moral values, and thoughts of what’s right and wrong. The more entangle they become into wicked acts; the deeper they sink into the snare he’s set for them to lose their soul.  

1 John 4:1-3 says, “Beloved believe not every spirit, but try the spirits whether they are of God: because many false prophets are gone out into the world.  Hereby know ye the Spirit of God: Every spirit that confesseth that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is of God: and every spirit that confesseth not that Jesus Christ is come in the flesh is not of God: and this is that spirit of antichrist, whereof ye have heard that it should come; and even now already is it in the world.   

Be Certain to Thoroughly Investigate any Prospective Husband:

It’s for this reason, if you must marry, be sure the person is a true child of God, not an imposter, pretender, not a scripture quoting empty vessel, or a bible toting devil. Besure he’s a sheep and not a goat, because in this present day and age, many are going around, thinking that they can hide, and God doesn’t know the difference.   My friend, it’s for this reason you should be watchful, be patient and take your time to truly discover who the person is. It could take years for you to get to know who a person really is under all the superficial things they present to you; especially if you’ve made it known to them the type of person you’re looking for.  Remember, satan is a counterfeiter he can send someone your way that will appear to meet all of your expectations: but with the help and guidance of the Holy Spirit you will be able to discern the good from the bad. 

Remember, our heavenly Father truly loves us, and He knows just who is best suited for you, just take your time, don’t rush. He will surely make that person known to you when the time is right.  Your duty is to remain consistent in your pursuit of God; walking in purity, obedience and faithfulness.  Continue to comply with all He expects of you as a believer. If you’re called to ministry, do your work with love, humility and integrity.  Never pretend to be who you’re not for anyone, nor for money, the LORD is your judge and overseer surely you can’t hide anything from HIM.  

HERE’S A LITTLE PEAK INTO MY LIFE STORY:

For many years I was part of a family, but didn’t really know God had placed me with them for protection and safety. The one who I adored and looked up to as my dad, was not my dad, but he loved me as one of his own and took care of me.  We all lived close together in a shot gun style southern home, the term use was because you could stand in the front door, shoot the gun, and the bullet would go straight out the back door.  All the rooms were in one line, one after the other, living room, bed room, kitchen and bathroom. This house was comprised of three rooms, and the bathroom was added later to an area on the back porch. It was a house my grandmother rented, who we lived with.  My dad lived in a small two room house across the street.  In this house was a total of 6 people, my paternal grandmother, aunt, uncle, and my two older sisters. When I came into this family, I was 11 months old, and my sisters was 3 and 4 years old.  

My mother had a terrible argument with my dad and left us with him, she didn’t return until three months later.  During that time of waiting on her to return, my dad had gone to court before a judge and obtain custody of us; not knowing when or if my mom would ever return. Therefore, when she finally came back to get us, it was too late. Her excuse was, she went to set up house to receive her children, and intended to return to get us. Yet she never kept in touch.  Of course, she was very angry, and spewed out to my dad, that he should let her take me, because I was not his child anyway.  I found this out much later in life as an adult, while caring for my aged dad. Because in our household, there was nothing ever discussed about who my real dad was, and my dad never said anything about our mother.

As the years went by, I began to notice the difference way I was being treated than my sisters by certain extended family members.  It was as though they knew a secret about me.  Although I wanted to know, it was a taboo to mention anything about my mom to my grandmother or dad, and that made me more curious to know the secret they were keeping. Longing to know answers only brought me much more frustration.  My dad seemed to get very agitated at the very mention of my mother’s name, and he would always say, he didn’t want to talk about it.  In my mind, I was thinking, if you won’t tell me then who will?  

If Your Children have Different Dads, please be the one to let them know:

Of course, as time when by at the age of 12, a woman approached me while I was on my way home from my great aunt’s house. She claimed to know my mother, and asked me if I was one of the 2 daughters my mom had for a certain man and she called his name. This was the first time I had received outside evidence, that made me know some of the things I was observing throughout the years while living with my family must be for this reason.  I had never heard mention of this man’s name before, so of course I wanted to receive answers.  When I got home, I informed my grandmother what the woman said, she directed me to my dad, he didn’t want to talk about it.  All this cause me to give into the suggestions that the enemy began to bombard my mind with, and at the age of 13, I ran away from home.

Remember, I only knew those in the home, from what I observed of each one on a day-today basis.  That is what help to paint a picture of each person to me.  When you live together with people who never discuss anything with you, only care for you, never sharing things about themselves you really don’t know them. Your impression of them through observance is the only thing you have to go on: until they share about their life experience their story is one you will never read.  

If Only, They Were More Concerned About My Emotional Health as Well:   We all have chapters in our life, where certain things may have occurred to altered how we think about a family member we grew up with, or had a chance to be around, but those things don’t change the fact that they are still family.  There was a certain great uncle on my dad’s side who was married, and was a pedophile, I only learn as I got older that this is the term used to describe people like him.  As children we would go to their house sometime to give my grandmother a break.  We would spend a day or two helping his wife who was always there; she enjoyed our company because they never had children of their own.  I found out as an adult, that he had touched all three of us inappropriately, but my sisters never share their experience with me when I was a child, I only found out from them as an adult.

Be Very Watchful and Careful of Who You Allow to Watch or Care for Your Children:

I was a very small child about two when it all began with him performing oral sex on me. When I was four, he would have me play with his genitals and all I could remember was how firm it got in my hands and his moaning. I didn’t know if his wife knew, but later on I heard her speaking to her friend of what she caught him doing with a 16-year-old cousin, so this made me think she knew.  When my aunt would put me down for a nap, she would disappear, and he would be sure to come and lay with me, and cover us with a blanket.  On that occurrence I remembered him saying, the next time we’re going to make them kiss, speaking of my vagina and his penis. After that encounter, an entire portion of my life as a young child I just can’t remember, it could be the Lord’s way of protecting me from further emotional trauma.  

A Family is Made Up of Different People with Different Personalities:

My dear sister, we can’t exclude or eliminate someone from our family simply because they have different ideas about life or the way they choose to live it.  All we can do is accept them just how they are and love them.  It’s your job to investigate any family prior to you marrying into it, so you can know more about their lineage, whether it good or wicked.  In every family there are no perfect individuals, we all have flaws, and things that we struggle with from day to day.  One can have a very bossy attitude, and another can be very shy and timid.  One can be very outgoing and socially active, and another can be an introvert loving to be alone.  On can be highly intelligent always analyzing others, and one can seek to find the weaknesses in others, looking for their next victim.  

Yet regardless of our different choices, personalities, behaviors and attitudes we are still members of a specific family unit.  

Keep your eyes open, and the gift of discernment in full operation, so you can be vigilant in protecting those in your home who are unable to protect themselves. You can never let your guard down, until you have prayed each family member through, they’ve given their life to Jesus Christ, got filled with His precious Holy Spirit, and living a life bearing precious fruit unto Him.  That is why it’s very important to pray for every member in the family without ceasing, pray for God’s protection over the lives of your children, and for Him to keep them where ever they are all times. 

God’s Love Can Heal All Things:

We are to love each member of our family and extended family not because of what they can do for us, but because they are all within our family.  Much of what we experienced in our younger years have help to shape our current personalities and dispositions of today. Some things we may have passed through earlier in life may have left some terrible scars. Some wounds are deep within, and some superficial, but all of them need special attention so we can receive a healing.  That is why when you spend time reading the Word of God, you may come across the livelihood of someone, that may open up something within you that need to be addressed.  

After receiving Jesus as my Lord and Savior and being led by the Holy Spirit of the place He wanted me to go to be taught in His Word I remain there 32years. There had been instances while I was in church listening to a sermon, it was as though a door was open at that very moment to my past, which allowed me to see something that I was exposed to.  It was at that moment, the Holy Spirit spoke to me about what happen to me physically, and how it affected me mentally, emotionally and spiritually; which caused a cycle of events to play out in the teenage years of my life.  My dear, there will always be something that the enemy will cause to try and steal your God given destiny.  But the things he has meant to destroy your life, God can deliver you from the years of torment, and pain setting you free.  As I sat in that church service and allowed the Word to penetrate my being, I began to cry out to God for Him to deliver me.  That day was the appointed time God had set forth for me to be healed, and I received my deliverance that very same day.  The time had come for me to forgive that uncle, for what he had done to me many years before.  

1 John 2:9=10 says, “He that saith he is in the light, and hateth his brother, is in darkness even until now.  He that loveth his brother abideth in the light, and there is none occasion of stumbling in him.  But he that hateth his brother is in darkness, and walketh in darkness, and knoweth not whither he goeth, because that darkness hath blinded his eyes.”

As I continued to follow Christ and made a commitment to live for Him, there were other instances while reading the Word, whether it was in a church setting, attending a specific seminar or conference, that many other healings and deliverances from my past took place.  

I truly thank and praise God for loving me enough to minister to my needs so I could become a much better person and be used by Him.   This life as His daughter has brought me so much blessings, not just material things, but spiritual and emotional as well.   In the years I’ve been walking with Christ, I have passed through many trials to test my faith in Him, but through it all I’ve learned to live on purpose, a life of obedience to God and trusting in Him to sustain me through the hard times and the good times.  He has never failed me yet!

Matthew 6:14-15 says, “For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.”   

My dear, if you have been a victim by the hands of a family member, you need to find it in your heart to forgive them.   Yes, they committed a terrible sin, but we all have sinned and come short of the glory of God.   Some of us find out about Jesus early in life, some later, and some may have heard about Him, but don’t believe.  If they should ever ask the Lord for forgiveness being sincere, for the things that they’ve done wrong to you He will forgive them.  

1 John 1:9 says, “If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 

Jesus said He came for the sick, but there are different kinds of sickness one can have.  All sicknesses are not physical, some are emotional or spiritual.   Only the Lord knows the kind of sickness each of us are dealing with.  Though He is loving and caring, He waits for the moment when we realize we have a problem, and we need Him to help us.

2 Peter 3:9 says, “The Lord is not slow, concerning His promise, as some count slowness. But He is patient with us, because He does not want any to perish, but all to come to repentance:”

The day you come face to face with the problem you have been going through, and you see just how it’s been affecting your life, it’s at that moment, you’ll let down those walls you’ve been hiding behind and allow yourself to seek the only One who can help you.  The only One you can trust with knowing your problem, and He won’t look at you or treat you differently, but will lovingly guide you into what you need to do, in order to be healed once and for all!

This happens when the Lord allows you to really see the person you have become, with all your ugliness.  He pulls the cover back for a moment, so you can take a good look at your whole life to see if you’re a good person or a bad one.  Are you loving and kind, or cruel and arrogant?  All this occurs because He’s ready to bring you out of the darkness, which you never knew had a hold on you. The reason you never knew about the condition you were in, is because satan had you blinded.  

2 Corinthians 4 Verses 3-4 says, “But if our gospel be hid, it is hid to them that are lost: in whom the god of this world hath blinded the minds of them which believe not, lest the light of the glorious gospel of Christ, who is the image of God, should shine unto them.” 

Since the Lord has allowed you to see clearly now, a door has been opened unto you that will change your life forever!  Now, you must choose!  From the day you walk through that door leading you into the Kingdom of God, your eyes will be open for you to see all the things you couldn’t see because of the spiritual bondage you were in.  And you will begin to see, just how you have been misled by the enemy for much of your life, and all the heart ache he had caused you.